Who Am I & What Am I Doing ?

Susan Ashley Leon. I feel that most people view me as a total different person than I truly am. I'm stating this because I've heard so many different opinions from so many different people, some bad, & some good. On another account, a lot of people dislike me, or so I believe. There's been plenty of times where I right away assumed someone didn't like me, and it turns out they never did have a problem with me. So yes, sometimes I do have low confidence & I do believe when people meet me, they don't like me. As far as first impressions, I don't know what kind of first impression I leave off. Too many people think I'm conceited and that's the opinion that gets me most. I'm so far from conceited it's ridiculous. Yeah, there is times where I feel fine with myself, but that would be my confident side, which doesn't show too often. Other times I'm too self confident & I feel like everyone looks better than I do. If someone wants to label me as conceited than I'm cool with that, but I know I'm definitely not. I also hear that I'm a bitch, too often. I wont even try to deny that one, I am a bitch when the times right. If you haven't done anything to bring out my bitchy side than you wont get it, because I can be a sweetheart. Too sweet at times, and people tend to mistake that for a weakness. I'm not weak and I won't let someone take advantage of me. I've come to the realization that I do care what people think about me, and I do care how I present myself. Thoughts of people have become the main thing in society, because admit it or not, everyone cares what other people are thinking. I used to deny it, because I used to really not care what people thought of me, I used to do things for myself.. And you know what? I got sick of that Susan. I didn't like who I was when I did an outlook on myself .. And I do believe I've changed for the better, You can even call it me growing up. I keep growing up too, My birthdays coming up in a month, I'm turning 17. I remember when I was just turning 13, and I remember trying to be older than what I really was, and I regret that so much. Because now that I'm actually as old as I tried to act, and wanted to be, I wish I was back at 13, because it was so much easier. Tomorrow I'm finally getting my first paycheck, that's a big thing to me. I'm just so overwhelmed with growing up, it's taking a toll on me. I usually just let the days fly by, and I use up my time so uselessly, I sometimes forget that every minute is a minute I can never have back. I'm so done with that, I need to start living, and doing things I'd never even think about doing. In the future I'm going to be looking back on when I was 16 years old, wishing I could go back to that age. Or maybe I'll be looking back thinking about how many things I could have done when I was 16, but now I need to start living so that I wont regret a thing. Today's the first day, of the rest of my life x3.