Let's take an outlook.

I wish I had the answers to everything in life. But than life would be so boring, and so predictable. I always tend to contradict all my thoughts by other thoughts and I always tend confuse myself. Anyways, I've been trying to cope with life. I'm been saying I'm so happy, to try to convince myself I am truly happy. & to be honest, the only happy aspect in my life is the fact that I have Lauren, but with everything else .. I always try to convince myself I'm happy about, when I'm really not. I'm alright with my friends now, I just know the boundaries and how much I can trust each one. I know how much to open up to one & how little to open up to another. After years of analyzing people, I finally begin to understand them, and their mentalities. I'm not stating this to higher myself, because I'm not all the great myself. I fuck up just like a normal human being & I'm capable of being a ridiculously big bitch when my time of the month comes. I'm fucked up, and I take my anger out on the one's I love most. So no, I'm not great. I usually smile and half the time that I do, I don't mean it. And I haven't found nobody that can tolerate me as much as Lauren can, and I could happily say I wouldn't trade her for anybody in this world, but lately when she's not around .. I feel too alone. I would never consider myself along the lines of emo, because that's a bit too much. I'm a happy child, I truly am. And there goes me contradicting myself again. Maybe I have the tendency of feeling so alone because I think too much, I put too much pieces of the puzzle together making me see a different perspective than anyone else, and making me set expectations that are never going to be met. But when I open my eyes, and pause my thinking, I always come up with the conclusion that I have everything and everyone I need in my life.